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misfokswhilst online...
[test subject B] says, "And a special gift, just so you can get some extra jaqltwat action: Assemblage_23__I_Ran_So_Far_Away.mp3 "
[test subject B] says, "Remember to give her a few extra strokes for me."
[test subject A] laughs softly. "Would it make you feel better if I said there's been no action for a while?
[test subject B] says, "It would make me angry. How could you give her four solid hours of vicious crotch-pounding action in my name if you're not getting laid at all?"
[test subject A] says, "the way she goes, four hours would likely kill me."
[test subject A] says, "My christ she's fierce."
[test subject B] says, "Yes, yes."
[test subject A] has fucking SCARS, man.
[test subject B] pauses.
[test subject B] says, "So..what it like? You know..having sex. With..a chick."
[test subject B] hopes it's a little less scratchy than a sock.
[test subject A] says, "It's not that which leaves the scars. It's the teeth and the nails."
[test subject A] says, "Toes as weapons. Dude."
[test subject B] says, "Does she have a thing for.. *quiver of excitement* ..INFLATABLE FLOTATION DEVICES?"
[test subject A] says, "...no?"
[test subject B] says, "Fuck. She ain't worthy of my violent luvin then, channeled through [test subject A] or otherwise. *dismissive hand-motions*"
[test subject A] bops [test subject B] between the ears. "So now I'm thinking how nice it would be to nail her right now and work out some aggression through vicious fucking action. Thanks."
[test subject B] says, "Welcome. Care to borrow a used sock?"
[test subject A] probably can just get a beat rag.
[test subject B] says, "Make do with what you got, man."
[test subject A] gets a beat [test subject B]. There! Best solution available.
[test subject B] says, "Yay! Beatings!"
[test subject B]'s morale improves.
[test subject A] says, "Uh, try again."
[test subject B] grows his goatee longer and does poetry to a bass and snare?
[test subject A] sighs, head shaking a little in dismay.
Meanwhile, back in Real Life...
*ring*
"SPEAK!"
"*something incomprehensible; sounds of call center in background*"
"SPEAK ENGLISH!"
"*still not quite comprehensible*"
"Agooblafoobla?"
"I'm sorry, I have the wrong number."
"YOU SURE DO. *click*"
*Because, you know, I'm just so goddamn hilarious.
