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Ruminations of a village idiot.
Oct. 25th, 2002 01:56 amI met a girl when I was in college. I'll call her Cheri, because that was her name. Tall and willowy with long, brown hair and a pleasant, easy-going disposition. She left her boyfriend to for me, and we quickly grew to enjoy a relationship where just hanging out together was fulfilling enough. We could chat easily, or just enjoy eachother in silence; she was always interested in what I was interested in, she was supportive when I was down, and I can't recall a single time we ever argued. She loved me dearly, was devoted and faithful. I eventually broke up with her because I didn't feel I loved her as much as she loved me--I didn't think it was fair to her. It was hard for me, though I felt it was better for her; she was heartbroken. Eventually she fell in with a carpenter, a nice enough fellow, married him, and moved out of state, and I was left with the echos of her laughter and the barren chill of her lost comfort.
Some time later, during a summer gig, I met another girl. Little twig of a thing, but with a huge, coppery mop of hair, and sweet as could be. I fell for her big time. The only hitch was that she already had a fiance, though she wouldn't be able to see him all summer. We eventually became quite close, sometimes sharing a bed for nothing more than the sheer comfort of one other. Probably the most intense affection I've shared, though it was in reality quite innocent--we didn't even kiss until the summer was nearly over. I didn't try; I was happy with what we had. When at last we did, I reined myself in as I caught myself getting carried away--not because she was unwilling, but because I respected her existing relationship. Even though I craved her in every way, I didn't want to be the guy who broke up a happy couple. At the end of the summer I met her fiance--a nice guy once again, dammit. Eventually they too got married, while I pursued another relationship which wound up being a disaster. I've no idea where they are now. I still remember the curve of her hip, her ready smile, her soft, passionate kisses, like no one I've known before or since. "And There Will Your Heart Be Also" can still lose me in those memories.
I am a fool.
Some time later, during a summer gig, I met another girl. Little twig of a thing, but with a huge, coppery mop of hair, and sweet as could be. I fell for her big time. The only hitch was that she already had a fiance, though she wouldn't be able to see him all summer. We eventually became quite close, sometimes sharing a bed for nothing more than the sheer comfort of one other. Probably the most intense affection I've shared, though it was in reality quite innocent--we didn't even kiss until the summer was nearly over. I didn't try; I was happy with what we had. When at last we did, I reined myself in as I caught myself getting carried away--not because she was unwilling, but because I respected her existing relationship. Even though I craved her in every way, I didn't want to be the guy who broke up a happy couple. At the end of the summer I met her fiance--a nice guy once again, dammit. Eventually they too got married, while I pursued another relationship which wound up being a disaster. I've no idea where they are now. I still remember the curve of her hip, her ready smile, her soft, passionate kisses, like no one I've known before or since. "And There Will Your Heart Be Also" can still lose me in those memories.
I am a fool.
